Optimism Tips to get you ready for a "long" February: Get busy, stay active, and focus on what you CAN control

This week in our Podcast of Optimism, we celebrate the closing of January and look forward to all that February has to offer.

Dr. Russ reminds us that even though it is generally thought of as the shortest month of the year, February usually has the effect of being the psychologically longest month of the year.

Whether you have been steady and faithful to your resolutions and New Year goals or have already fallen off the bandwagon, you can still prepare for a psychologically long month by bolstering up your optimism stamina with the tips Dr. Russ shares.

Click here to listen, and leave a comment to let us know what you do to avoid the February Funkies!

Ten Original Optimism Quotes to Not Only Make your Day, but Help You Achieve Your Impossible Dream

By Dr. Russ

January 2012 is nearly at a close.  Perhaps you need a little dose of optimism as the gray days of winter take their toll.  Use one of these original Dr. Russ Buss quotes to perk up your optimism before the longest month of the year gets here.  And this year that month will have 29 days.

Ten Original Optimism Quotes by Dr. Russ Buss

1. You know you have lost your self-esteem on that bumpy road called “Job Search” when you start calling potential employers “idiots,” disguise your obvious talents, lower expectations, and sell yourself short.

2. The “Optimism of Travel” is found in that ray of sunshine called “Adventure.”

3. Keep the darkness of winter out in the cold by warming up your inner spirit with a winterizing OPTIMISM PROTECTION PLAN that gets you fit for spring sports, delivers wisdom from reading, results in the relaxation  of self-pampering, and that comes from completion of indoor home improvements.

4. Rejoice in the optimism that abounds when the vote you cast actually gets counted and counts for something.

5. Once your guy gets elected realize you now have it your way.  Time to begin thinking about how to help the other guy win so everybody WINS!

6. Working to have it both ways and to form a joint approach to solving a problem results in progress and win-win government.

7. Pessimists fear pain.  Optimists TRANSCEND it with hard work and practice.   

8. STOP waiting around for the PERFECT conditions to begin the hard work of self-improvement and change.  

9. Transcend the pain of optimism with the INSPIRATION given by those cheering you on.   

10. Only if you dare to dream the impossible will the incredible come true.

Optimism of Gabrielle Giffords Involves Courage and Promise of Hard Work

By: Jackie Monroe

Today, Arizona Congress woman Gabrielle Giffords announced in Congress that she intends to resign from her current position as a United States Representative. In the touching reading of her letter to Congress--orated by her friend and colleague Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz of Florida--Rep. Giffords reminded us all that she is interested not only in investing in her health and continuing her recovery, but of doing the best thing for the state of Arizona.

I don't think there's any doubt that Rep. Giffords will one day return to Washington, given more recovery and the vote! More certain than that, though, is the shared belief by all who know Rep. Giffords that this woman truly embodies what it means to be selfless, optimistic, and hardworking. This act and message is a testament to that truth:

Sometimes the hardest thing is also the (next) right thing to do.  In this case, optimism is showcased colorfully as we know that life is not always perfectly worked out and smooth just because we are optimists. As Dr. Russ reminds us, optimism comes with the promise of hard work.

Rep. Giffords makes the next right decision for her, and the state of Arizona, by stepping out on faith and committing this time to her recovery, so that in the future she can go back to committing her time to the country.The decision was likely not an easy one, nor was it likely easy for her to make the above video to broadcast to the world. Yet Rep. Giffords did make the decision and the video, and both prove as shining examples of optimism in action.

What You Need to Know to Get Out of a Negative Moment

 By Dr. Russ and Jackie Monroe

1.    Admit to the pessimistic moment of a bad attitude.
•    Learning to identify feelings and particularly negative emotions is an important optimism skill.  In order to overcome and manage a negative feeling we must first be able to recognize it and identify the reason for it.  Ignoring and suppressing feelings keeps them hidden from view and festering within us preventing past emotional wounds from healing.
2.    Identify worrisome thoughts associated with the negativity.
•    All feelings are triggered by thoughts both positive and negative.  Thus, we must learn to identify the underlying negative thought that triggers a particular “down” emotion.  Negative thoughts tend to trigger other negative thoughts that trigger other negative emotions. For example, the thought, “Oh, I might fail the test,” triggers mild anxiety, a rational response. But the associated thought, “If I fail the test, I will be a failure in life,” is an irrational response that triggers emotional despair.  Learning to recognize and eliminate such irrational thoughts from our mindset is an important optimism skill.
3.    Explore options with problem solving, creativity and a focus on what can be controlled instead of dwelling on what can’t be controlled.
•    Recognize and learn to discern “real” problems from “made-up” ones that are the construction of the over worried irrational mind.  “Made-up” problems are solved with the skill identified in step 2, above.  “Real” problems, such as a flat tire, a poor test grade, a philandering spouse require creative problem solving and getting help from others.  Such social problem solving skills once learned are honed and improved through life experience.
4.    Recognize that negativity is often “sticky” and can “hang around,” but it is still your choice to be positive.
•    Sometimes pessimism is “sticky” like gum on the bottom of a shoe.  No matter how much we believe negative circumstances ultimately “make us stronger” some are tougher to let go of than others, e.g., death of a loved one, being fired,  and social rejection to name a few.  The key optimism skill to be learned here is one of “mental compartmentalization:” the ability to set aside the negative thought from active consciousness if we can’t let go of it.
5.    Allow for catharsis, think about one thing for which you are grateful, and take a deep breath.
•    It is OK to cry, howl at the moon in private, or emphatically express your disappointment in words as long as you don’t make such venting habitual, and so long as you own your feeling as yours without blaming others as the cause of your unhappiness.  Thinking a grateful thought invariably improves mood and using diaphragmatic breathing automatically triggers the relaxation response.

Joe Paterno Died of "Broken Heart," Sapped of Optimism

By Dr. Russ

Joe Paterno succumbs to “broken heart.”  According to former Penn State University star quarterback, Todd Blackledge, Joe Paterno died of a “broken heart” related to his firing and the ongoing sexual abuse scandal surrounding former Penn State Assistant Coach Jerry Sandusky.  Yes, the medical diagnosis is that he succumbed to lung cancer and its complications.

But, I agree with Blackledge.  No one will ever know for sure, but I believe Joe Paterno’s spirit was sapped by the scandal and how he was fired.   Joe was a healthy, vibrant 85 year old football coach until the news broke of the Sandusky child sex abuse scandal.  Penn State University, in its infinite wisdom, fired Paterno in a brief evening phone call.  No ceremony, no recognition of his contributions to the University since 1950.  Just, “Your services are no longer needed.” Paterno gave 62 years of his working life to Penn State University, and he was thrown out as if he was a heap of garbage.

Joe continued to be an optimist on the outside; not blaming others, upholding his principles as coach and teacher, thankful for his blessings of children and grandchildren.  But, I believe, Joe was hurting on the inside.  He had to be appalled, sickened at the behavior of his former assistant Jerry Sandusky.  Joe had to be asking himself, "How did I miss this?  How could this kind of depravity gone on under my watch?"

If I try to put myself in Joe’s shoes, I can see how I would not want to believe something so abhorrent was going on right in “my own back yard” perpetrated by someone I had known and trusted for years.  To turn and face the stench of that garbage pile might just be too much.

I don’t think Joe’s heart was broken by the circumstances of his firing, of not being able to go out like the hero he was, instead being dismissed like Woody Hayes or Bobby Bobby Knight.  If there was one thing Joe taught it was toughness to stand up against the circumstances of life and football was a perfect venue for him to teach that lesson to thousands of young men.

No, Joe could have faced those circumstances.  What he couldn’t face was the guilt and responsibility he felt on the inside for the scandal that had occurred on his watch.  Although he never admitted to it, I’m sure he was blaming himself for every boy that was abused on his watch.  Joe took life personally and did not shun responsibility.  I believe Joe couldn’t find a way to forgive himself or if he sought it, could not accept God’s forgiveness. 

Psalm 32; Versus 1-7 speaks to the healing power of forgiveness.  Joe kept silent about his internal turmoil, and his “bones wasted away” just like the voice in verse 3.  His strength “was sapped.”

Psalm 32, NIV

Blessed is the one
   whose transgressions are forgiven,
   whose sins are covered.
² Blessed is the one
   whose sin the LORD does not count against them
   and in whose spirit is no deceit.

 ³ When I kept silent,
   my bones wasted away
   through my groaning all day long.
⁴ For day and night
   your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
   as in the heat of summer.^[b]

 ⁵ Then I acknowledged my sin to you
   and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
   my transgressions to the LORD.”
And you forgave
   the guilt of my sin.

 ⁶ Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
   while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
   will not reach them.
⁷ You are my hiding place;
   you will protect me from trouble
   and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Forgiveness is like a double edged sword.  Its benefits come from two sources, seeking and receiving forgiveness and granting it to others.  It is clear that Joe forgave the Penn State administration and anyone who was caught up in his treatment and firing.  He never once said a negative word about them. Even though he didn’t or doesn’t deserve the blame for Sandusky, I think he took responsibility for missing or ignoring this horror that occurred on his watch.

Joe said in an interview that God must have had another plan for him than to finish out in celebration, adoration, and glory.  Today, as Joe sits in the Kingdom of Heaven that plan may be clear to him.  And, I am sure his spirit has been restored in heaven as only a direct encounter with the Lord himself would be enough to convince Joe he was forgiven. 

We know such powerful forgiveness is possible because we saw it performed here on earth by Jesus in the raising of Lazarus and others from their death-beds and the elimination of terminal and chronic illnesses in his miracles. But this time, the rest of us will have to wait for the revelation of meaning to unfold here on earth. 

Perhaps Joe’s ultimate legacy will be his sacrifice for the cause of eliminating child sexual abuse.  If  Joe Paterno’s disciples could turn the ultimate meaning of Joe’s life into a spearhead to eliminate this terrible crime against humanity, Joe will have made a greater contribution to humankind than he could ever have imagined.